something wicked this way comes

A fire burns in the Boulder hills. I can watch it burn from the porch I am perched on. The angry winds propel the flames and I am sitting enveloped in the motion, trying to embrace its fury. It sways the swing I am curled up on, rocking me from front to back, reassuring me to remain calm amongst the chaos. My lips are dry, I lick them to restore moisture but the wind robs them of their temporary relief far too quickly. I should go inside and find lip balm, but I am captivated by the howling and the sun has just reached up over the top of the conifer trees and is warming me into submission. So I will remain, watching as the dying ladybugs make their final traverses across the banister and leaves slam helplessly against the screen. Birds battle against the wind, some look desperate to continue south, while others give in and let themselves be carried effortlessly north. My eyes burn, my entire body is dry – damn arid climate – can never seem to be able to drink enough water to remain sufficiently lubricated in this state!

I am trying to learn to appreciate the wind and all its power - it does after all signify change - and change is what I claim to embrace... so am focusing on the embracement of the wind. Easier said than done, but I am trying to take the violence out it and look at it only as pure movement of air... rapid, destructive movement of air... but... oh christ, it's violent, there is no way around it! So perhaps I will search for the calm within the storm, the peace that can be found in the swirling of energy that brings down branches and spreads forest fire ragingly across the brittlely dry foothills. Yes, there is peace to be found here, I am sure of it. The simple fact that I am not crawling out of skin as I sit out here is reassurance enough for me.

It is the end of October, and Halloween quickly approaches. I've been here longer than anticipated and the wind becomes symbolic of the emotions that begin to pick up force if I am here too long, and trying to find 'peace' in the cluster of downed trees and charred forests becomes more and more of a challenge. I cherish my homeland and all of the beautiful contrasts of the chaos and calm. I came here to rejoice in glory of autumn, to sit engrossed in chatter with my family for cocktail hour and perhaps leave them with a greater understanding of who I am... and while not all can be accomplished, I rest content in the acceptance of humble human-ness and take another step forward... ever cautious of the dying ladybugs and those pesky rotting grapes.